How to Respect

One of the questions that came in during the Love Songs series:

You said we as women are called to respect! Your husband is a godly man following biblical values! But you as the women find it hard to show respect! How?

First of all, we women need to remember that our “nature” is not to respect, it is to control (see Genesis 3). One of the first strategies to gain control, is to assume a superior position. I believe that is why so many women systematically dismantle their husband’s self-esteem. She is quick to point out each of his faults and failures and trumpet her own successes. A woman may say — even to herself — that she is providing constructive criticism to make her husband and their marriage better, but in reality this behavior is very destructive to both.

Back to the question, “How do you respect?” My answer would be that you choose to respect. Make a decision to stop looking for faults, stop all criticism (contructive or not) and start building up each attribute or action you see in your husband that you admire. Look hard for every positive thing and express admiration and gratitude sincerely and often.

Mary Alice

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