It is foolish to belittle one’s neighbor; a sensible person keeps quiet.
Proverbs 11:12
Name calling was not allowed at our house. That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen when Mother wasn’t around to hear, but it was a punishable offense. This was not a concept I learned from school or my circle of friends. In fact, I often heard other kids say, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.” That just isn’t true. Mother would explain some of the reasons why this is important.
1) Unkind words DO hurt and it is never okay to injure someone else with our words, whether it’s a spouse, a sibling, a friend or a total stranger. This is true even when we are angry with them and even if we are angry for a good reason. (And saying, “I was just joking.” doesn’t take the hurt away.)
2) No one has the right to label someone else. That is an act of passing judgment, assigning motives, determining value — and no one has the authority to devalue any person without putting themselves in peril with that person’s friends, relatives, or above all, their Creator!
3) Words cannot be taken back and name calling or other hurtful words said in the heat of anger do damage that cannot be undone. Even if forgiveness is sought with sincerity, those words will still ring out in the heart and mind of the offended person no matter how much they may want to forget.
4) You will never regret not saying angry, hurtful words.
I was always amazed by Mother’s refusal to be critical of others. So many times I saw Mother hurt by people who were determined to cause her pain with their actions and words. When that person or persons were mentioned in conversation, she would find something to say that was positive, or she wouldn’t say anything at all. She even passed up many opportunities to retaliate by telling the “rest of the story” in her own defense. Mother believed it was God’s job to hold them accountable for their actions, not hers. I was in my teen years, when I first made note of this strength of restraint in her life and so I continued to watch and listen and learn. I never saw or heard her violate this life principle though she was provoked many times.
In this age of instant reactions that ring out across the globe through social media, there is little thought given to the consequences of reckless, angry words. The Bible is clear that God cares about what we say.
Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.
Proverbs 18:2
Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.
Proverbs 18:13
Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.
Proverbs 29:11
There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.
Proverbs 29:20
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